15 days ago Ferality sent a note titled Seeking Advice to Dragoneer, which has been read I'd like your advice on an issue I have with a very well-known user of this site. I don't know who else I could turn to.

Less than a year ago this user coerced me into having sex with him. He manipulated me emotionally when I was depressed and especially vulnerable. I am still dealing with the trauma that situation has caused.

Only after my experience with him did I hear about him having done the same thing to other female artists within the furry fandom before. I do wish someone had warned me about him. I know that he is beginning the cycle again with at least one female artist that I know, who has just turned 18. He is at least 27 years of age and is very well aware of what he is doing. I can only speculate how many others he has solicited.

It especially concerns me that while in his presence, he boasted about his previous use of alcohol to rape a girl.

My question to you is should I stay quiet like that majority of his victims have, or should I say something? And if I do say something, should I avoid saying it on FA? I have never spoken up about my experience with him except to those closest to me. If I could prevent him from abusing another person like he has me, I think it would be worth it.

Thank you for your time,
-Ferality

15 days ago Dragoneer sent a note titled RE: Seeking Advice to Ferality, which has been read

I'd like your advice on an issue I have with a very well-known user of this site. I don't know who else I could turn to.

Less than a year ago this user coerced me into having sex with him. He manipulated me emotionally when I was depressed and especially vulnerable. I am still dealing with the trauma that situation has caused.

Only after my experience with him did I hear about him having done the same thing to other female artists within the furry fandom before. I do wish someone had warned me about him. I know that he is beginning the cycle again with at least one female artist that I know, who has just turned 18. He is at least 27 years of age and is very well aware of what he is doing. I can only speculate how many others he has solicited.

It especially concerns me that while in his presence, he boasted about his previous use of alcohol to rape a girl.

My question to you is should I stay quiet like that majority of his victims have, or should I say something? And if I do say something, should I avoid saying it on FA? I have never spoken up about my experience with him except to those closest to me. If I could prevent him from abusing another person like he has me, I think it would be worth it.

Thank you for your time,
-Ferality

Can you give me the details on the person/circumstances/dates/times?

I promise I will keep it confidential. But if he's doing something like that I can try to do a quick survey from my side to see if I can see any discernible issues.

Plus (don't take this the wrong way) going public with anything like this turns dirty. Sometimes it's best to know the circumstances between all involved.

15 days ago Ferality sent a note titled RE: RE: Seeking Advice to Dragoneer, which has been read

Thank you, and I agree that something like this would probably turn dirty, which is why I chose to contact you first. Drama or revenge is not what I am after - what has been done has been done, and I only seek to prevent it from happening to other people.

The person is Zaush, and the date of the event this past new years weekend. I had been talking with him via aim (sadly I do not have any logs) and personal cell phone texts/calls. This was also when he had still been in a relationship with his ex-fiance, Keovi. They had both explained to me that they were in a "swinging" relationship when I met them in person at Califur earlier that year (June 5-7, 2009). During the convention he expressed interest in having sex with me, which I declined and let him know I had a boyfriend. He then proceeds to try and convince me to do an art trade with him depicting our characters having sexual relations, to which I told him I wasn't comfortable with. I told them both that I admired their artwork and intended only to be friends with them. They both seemed ok with this.

After the convention Zaush talks to me on AIM and constantly brings up sexual conversations. I eventually tell him I was physically incapable of having penetrative sex, which at the time was a great source of depression for me, in hopes that he would leave me alone . He goes on to insist that I am emotionally broken and my current relationship is the source of my agony. The relationship I was in ended shortly after this exchange, and I sought to spend some time single in order to figure some things out for myself.

I continued to talk to both Zaush and Keovi during this time, and decided to visit them in early October in order to take a look at Keovi's art college, since I was seeking out possible colleges to transfer to (I was nearing the end of my associates degree). During my stay there I was constantly pressured by Zaush into having sex with he and Keovi although I explained to him before I arrived and during my stay that I was not interested. I eventually relented and allowed him to massage me while I was topless. He then proceeded to pull down my shorts every chance he got while he was on top of me. At this point I was too confused and intimidated to tell either of them I was uncomfortable. This event ended in them having sex together in front of me. I left the next day.

I stopped talking to Zaush after this for a while, but eventually resumed contact with him nearing the end of the year. He began insisting that I visit again, stating that it wasn't fair that Keovi slept around when he didn't get to, and that I owed him sex. He called me angrily twice to yell at me about his frustrations that I wasn't comfortable visiting or having sex with him. I became very depressed. He began to explain that he was just trying to act in my best interests, and that he could help me with my sexual dysfunction. He claimed to have helped Shinigamigirl with the same issue.

When he explained that Keovi was going to China to spend new years eve with her father, he again pleaded that I would come down to spend the weekend with him. After being badgered and harassed I gave in and arrived at his house. He called Keovi shortly after I arrived and asked her permission to have sex with me, which I think was also another way to manipulate me. He asked me if I had ever drank before and I said no, then proceeded to tell me that he wouldn't give me any alcohol before he fucked me because he had been accused by a woman of using alcohol to her. This made me very uncomfortable. We were the only ones at his house and I was 3+ hours away from home. I insisted that we use condoms, but he would not. Since he was much larger than me (I am 5'2") I felt like he could become violent if I had chosen to leave at that time. So I stayed had unprotected penetrative sex with him at his house. I spent two nights (December 31st 2009, January 1st 2010) and left in the morning of the third day (January 2nd 2010) because I had work later that same day. He begged me to quit my job and stay with him because he was so lonely. I was glad to have an excuse to leave. I have been testing for all major STDs ever since.

Sorry for being so long-winded. This was my personal encounter. The artists I know of which either he has stated he has done this to, or have stated themselves that he has approached them soliciting sex are: Littlebluewolf, Shinigamigirl, WolfNymph, Vantid, and most recently Rainbowjokerhound (the 18 year old I spoke of). I am concerned for the safety of other female artists because he chooses to prey on smaller females (around 5 feet in height) while he is actively working out and taking protein suppliments, is emotionally manipulative, and becomes verbally violent when resisted.

Thank you for your time,
-Ferality

15 days ago Dragoneer sent a note titled RE: RE: RE: Seeking Advice to Ferality, which has been read Okay, yeah... that's... I'll need some time to think this one over. It's definitely a complex issue.

14 days ago Ferality sent a note titled RE: RE: RE: RE: Seeking Advice to Dragoneer, which has been read Thank you for taking the time to think about it. I know Zaush contributes to the site and is definitely fairly popular (which is why I hesitated to say anything about this to anyone) but I'm worried he might do what he did to me, or worse, to someone else. I'm not sure asking you to ban him would do much to help the issue, though. And I am not sure that he directly uses FA to solicit sex from people, so if that's the case I can understand how it might be out of your hands. That's why I wanted to ask your advice, and I do trust your judgment.

If it ends up being the only thing I can do is to continue avoiding him while looking out for other female artists and warning them in private about his tendencies, then that's that. I wont bring this issue public, and I do ask that you notify me before you say anything publicly, or even to Zaush. I'm afraid he might try to harass me (he may still have my phone number and other important information).

Thanks for hearing me out,
-Ferality

Okay, yeah... that's... I'll need some time to think this one over. It's definitely a complex issue.

14 days ago Ferality sent a note titled RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Seeking Advice to Dragoneer, which has been read

Well, I can't tell you what action to take, but I can tell you that if you do go against Zaush, you will have to risk backlash and reputation damage by his fans (right or wrong). I've seen enough drama on FA to last a life time. It's important to note that in a case like this the other women will need to speak up as well, otherwise you stand to risk having everything fall back on you.

Either way, for or against you, it's going to end up in drama. People are going to say "Why didn't you say no?" and short of him slipping a roofie, it's going to be awkward. If he's a lech people are going to argue here's nothing wrong with it, it's not illegal, etc. Is it immoral? Yes. But otherwise, it's a really hard line to go against. These are the angles you need to look at, too, as others are going to look at them in the same way.

If you have backing and they'll stand up and speak out with you... it may be worth doing so. If you feel that you may end up standing alone... it may hurt you and your art, and result in more stress than not.

I won't say anything about the issue. It's not my place to. If it's something serious it should be brought up, but you also have to weigh in the process and the cons of doing so. You need to sit down and consider how it it can benefit you and how it can get the word out, but also how it can be turned around and used against you.

I'm available if you want to ping ideas off of, but I can't really take sides in this. Just always remember, both sides have a story, and when it comes to drama, both sides will tell it.

I've observed my fair share of furry drama from afar, which is why I did indeed hesitate to say anything to anyone, much less write up passive-aggressive journals about it like most furs seem to do. It's not cut and dry rape (like you said with the roofie) - which seems to be the only form of rape taken seriously in modern American culture. The thing is that I did tell him no, multiple times, and he just kept pressing the issue until I caved in - using his furfame as leverage, but the average person wont care about that. Plus, like I said before, I do not have any chat logs or recordings of his emotionally abusive conversations with me. In short, I agree that unless I find other women who have both a) had similar experiences with him and b) want to get involved in this drama storm, I have no leg to stand on.

I'll consider the situation a bit more and I'll contact you again if I need more advice. I really appreciate you being available and impartial to the situation.

Again, thank you for talking to me about the situation.
-Ferality

14 days ago Dragoneer sent a note titled RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Seeking Advice to Ferality, which has been read

Without proof it's going to be tenfold more difficult to stand by it.

Why not come with a middle-ground solution - and remind people that they never have to say yes, stand their ground and respect their integrity. Don't use names, but just remind people not to succumb to pressure. Test the waters so to speak.