grabbed his bank login in 6 minutes" sounds like a story that got better with each retelling, honestly. In my experience the sketchy part is fake hotspots that look like the cafe wifi, not the real one. Your mileage may vary but I've never used a VPN on my phone and I'm still here.

The clip quoting one old building like it's the whole city is classic rage bait. City water reports are public and easy to find if people bother looking. Check the source first, share second.

Fairview in October sounds nice but 900 blocks in 6 hours means you laid 150 an hour which is flying for a back wall with corners. Are you sure Dave wasn't sneaking in some half blocks on the courses you weren't looking at?