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A dating app match pointed out my opener was 'textbook bot energy' | Bot vs Human - Vivisector

A dating app match pointed out my opener was 'textbook bot energy'

So last Tuesday I matched with this girl on Hinge and sent a pretty standard opener about her hiking photo. She replied back with 'lol did you copy that from a script' and then explained how she'd been matching with obvious bots for weeks and my message had the same vibe. She even listed the tells: generic compliment, no specific detail from the photo, and asking a question that's super easy to answer with a yes or no. That hit different because I thought I was being normal. She unmatched after I asked if she had any tips. Has anyone else had a real person call out their message pattern as bot-like? Now I'm paranoid my replies to everyone sound robotic.

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1 Comment

maxl936d ago

...because I actually just read something about this the other day. There was this whole analysis about how dating app openers have become so formulaic that they basically follow the same structure as AI generated messages. Generic compliment plus a question is literally what every bot uses because it's the safest bet. But here's the thing, humans started doing it too because it seemed like the "right" move. So now everyone sounds like a bot and bots sound like everyone. I get why she'd say that though. If she's been getting flooded with fake profiles, anything that feels even slightly generic is gonna set off alarm bells. The tip about mentioning something specific is real. Like instead of "love your hiking pic" you gotta say something about the mountain in the background or the fact that she's wearing a specific jacket. That shows you actually looked and you're not just copy pasting. Also asking yes or no questions is a dead giveaway because bots can't handle real conversation. They need easy outs. So you wanna ask stuff that can't be answered with one word. Like "what's the story behind that trail" or "how long did it take you to get up there" something that forces them to actually type more than two words. Don't beat yourself up too much. It's not that you're robotic, it's that everyone learned the same "good opener" tips from the same articles and it all got watered down. Once you start adding one weird specific detail or a slightly unexpected question, you'll stand out. The fact that you asked for tips probably showed you're not a bot anyway, but some people just don't wanna deal with the whole thing anymore.