Was writing for the reader the whole time instead of the character

Spent 2 years on a novel before a beta reader asked why my protagonist sounded like a tour guide explaining things. That's when I realized I was dumping info instead of letting them just live through the scene. Anyone else catch themselves doing this and have a trick to snap out of it?

2 comments

2 Comments

nathankim7d ago

Ever tried reading your draft out loud in a monotone robot voice? It sounds dumb but it really works for catching the "tour guide" stuff. Once you hear yourself droning on, you know exactly where the info dump is. What helped me was forcing myself to only write what the character would see, hear, or feel in that exact moment. If they wouldn't stop and think about the history of a door, I cut it. It hurts at first but your story moves way faster and feels more alive.

shane_bell7d ago

You know, I used to think that kind of restraint would make my writing feel too bare, but you've really changed my mind on that, @nathankim. Reading it in a flat voice exposed all those places where I was explaining things instead of letting the story breathe. Once I started cutting those history lessons and sticking to what the character actually notices, my scenes stopped dragging and started feeling like real moments.