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Took me 3 years to admit I was the problem, not just my ex
Last month my therapist in Portland straight up told me I kept picking fights over money because I was scared of being alone after the divorce. That hit harder than any of the court stuff did. Anyone else realize they were carrying their own junk into the split?
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young.thomas2d ago
That therapist really knows how to drop a truth bomb on you... realizing you were the common denominator in all those fights is a tough pill to swallow.
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danielr991d ago
Nah, I'd push back a little on the "dumpster fire with a credit card" thing. I think it's more like you're so used to surviving alone after a divorce that you don't know how to just sit still with someone. You invent problems because quiet feels dangerous. I did the same thing with my second ex, picked apart how he loaded the dishwasher when really I was just bracing for him to leave like the first one did.
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angela_morgan2d ago
Right so you're saying for 3 years you thought your ex was the problem but really you were just a dumpster fire with a credit card? Classic. I had a similar moment when I realized I was the one who started every single argument about the dishes being left in the sink. Turns out I was just mad he went to bed at 10pm and I stayed up spiraling alone. Therapy really is just paying someone to tell you what your friends were too nice to say.
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