"Furries ruin everything" has been a long-time motto from CYD that lives on at Vivisector. In this very old article from late 2003 by former CYD regular contributor The New Meat, we find the aforementioned 'everything' extends even as far as organized religion, to depictions of the Christian savior himself.
Saturday, December 20. 2003
The Furry Jesus
The Furry Jesus
by The New Meat
Probably no person in human history has been subject to as many and as varied interpretations as Jesus Christ. Some say he was a fraud or a delusional, others view him as a prophet, and still others believe him to have been the actual son of God. But even those who accept his divinity argue over his message. Was his message one of peace and brotherhood, a call for all mankind to put aside its instinctive mistrust and xenophobia and live as brothers? Was it a call to spread his faith and wipe out rival doctrines by any means necessary? Some of the greatest crimes in history have been perpetrated in his name, as have some of the greatest acts of love and compassion. A major figure in no less than three major world religions, few people have had a more dramatic impact on the direction of human history than this simple carpenter's son(1).
Over history, people have emphasized different aspects of Jesus' story. In the European Romanesque period, Jesus was often depicted as the man of sorrows, who gave his life on the cross so that mankind could be freed from sin. In the later gothic period, he was transformed into the king of heaven, a stern but just judge who meted out reward and punishment to the recently deceased(2).
Artists frequently alter Jesus' physical appearance to meet the needs of their audiences. Despite the fact that Jesus was no doubt a dark-skinned middle eastern fellow, our Euro-centric culture embraces the notion of a lily white messiah. If you were to travel to Africa, though, you'd find that many churches feature a black man on the crucifix(3). It's an odd fact that people want their savior to look something like them.
So furries, of course, depict a furry Jesus.
Just as, for all our differences, mundanes tend to agree on a few of Jesus' defining characteristics - he's a mellow guy with a beard and a robe - furries, too, seem to have reached an informal consensus of what furry Jesus should look like. He's a lion in a robe, a towering, majestic lion. The flowing hair so often associated with human Jesus remains - for how would we recognize a lion without his mane? - but the beard is mysteriously absent in most depictions. Possibly it's left out simply because animals don't have beards, but furries rarely let reality get in the way of a good picture. So the beard's absence might be meaningful, but I certainly haven't figured it out yet.
So now we know what furry Jesus looks like, but what does he mean? What message is he trying to communicate to his furry followers? It's difficult to know since there are a lot of pictures of furry Jesus but few of them include any text.
But some interpretation is possible, simply by looking at the choice of animal. Furry Jesus is, surprisingly, neither a fox nor a skunk. This can hardly be a coincidence.
The obvious conclusion is that Christian furries draw a not-too-subtle parallel between the lion as the king of the jungle and Jesus as the king of heaven. But way before furries started slapping angel wings on Simba tracings, the lion has been a potent symbol of Jesus' majesty. There's a rich tradition of lions in Christian allegory, up to and including Aslan of the Narnia chronicles. Of the four gospels, Matthew is often associated with the lion as his account of Jesus' life paints him as the ruling messiah king(4). Jesus has also been associated with the lion of the tribe of Judah, one of the principle tribal standards that rallied the tribes of Israel who encamped around the tabernacle(1): "The Lion of the tribe of Judah, the root of Davis, he conquered so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals."(6) In medieval bestiaries, the lion recalled the resurrection of Christ, as antiquarian naturalists believed that all lion cubs were still born and subsequently revived by their mother.
But there's more to furry Jesus than his outward appearance and, as a little further exploration will reveal, a gothic "King of Heaven/Judge of the Departed" interpretation only works if one ignores the typical poses and expressions of furry Jesus. Furry Jesus, for all the awesome power expressed by his lion form, is not a judgmental fellow. He's a gentle, mellow guy, always smiling benignly and extending a helpful paw to some downtrodden local. Above all, furries seem to emphasize furry Jesus' unconditional love for all furs. Often we'll see furry Jesus protecting those animals that, in nature, would be his dinner. For example:
The lion and the lamb. I vaguely remember something about this from Sunday school. | Hey! There they are again! | Damnit, thanks a lot for ruining my "Furry Jesus=Lion" thesis. |
It seems that an integral part of furry Jesus' personality is that, although he's a lion, he doesn't use his lion powers to do lion-like stuff, such as, uh, eating herbivores. His main message isn't so much a Gothic "Be good cause I'm watching" or a Romanesque "I died for your sins," but a thoroughly modern, quasi-hippy "I'm all-powerful AND I love everyone." Take from that what you will. It's not necessarily a bad message and certainly no different than many other modern interpretations of Jesus. Some might point out how ironic it is that Christian furries embrace this notion of Jesus, when furry fandom itself is such an all-inclusive, non-judgemental "religion." But I don't like to piss on people's beliefs too much. As Dr. Science would say, I think that's really nice.
Just a final note: I was actually just a little relieved when my Google search for furry Christian images didn't turn up any furry Jesus porn. Furry's often criticized for destroying everything it touches by turning it all into one weird-ass pornographic gumbo mishmash. Could it be that in a major religious figure like Jesus we've found a subject that can actually be "furrified"(7) without degenerating into complete swill?
OH WAIT
Footnotes
1. You might argue otherwise. That's why I said "few." DRAMATIC OPENING!!!!
2. I SMART! TAKE INTRO TO WESTERN CIV 101! APPLY HAZY, HALF-REMEMBERED KNOWLEDGE! BLARG!
3. Before you write me any letters pointing out that I'm dumb, I'd just like to point out that I've been to Africa and, while I can't say that I visited every single church there, I did see quite a few that had adopted this image of Jesus. While we're on the topic, look in the statuette display in your local 99 cent store and odds are that you'll have your pick of white, black, Hispanic, and Asian Jesuses.
4. On a side note, Mark, Luke, and John are often presented with an ox, a man, and an eagle, respectively. Mark's gospel dwells mainly on Jesus' actions and how he served mankind through his sacrifice; the ox is, of course, a classic symbol of servitude. Luke emphasizes Jesus' humanity, and the man, well, okay, that's pretty obvious. John, meanwhile, writes about Jesus as the incarnation of the divine, the son of God, and I suppose the eagle's connected with the heavens, of course.
5. Numbers 2. And no, I have no idea what a tabernacle is.
6. Revelations 5:5, Genesis 40:9 - 10
7. Just to save time, I will say this up front. The fact that I used this fake word shows that A FAG IS ME!!!1!