Friday, December 9. 2005
Returning for part two of his four-part series on some of the 'notable names' of furrydom, former CYDiot Weird_Guy_In_The_Corner this time looks at Richard Katellis, Sara Palmer, Chris Sawyer, Tojyo, Jay Naylor, and Eric Schwartz.
Float like a Pervert, Sting like a Deviant:
Entities of the Furry Fandom Part II
It’s time for another installment in “Entities of the Furry Fandom”. After my first installment I’ve decided to lengthen this article slightly and include pictures. No archaic articles, no sir. In this part I will be roasting and examining some more furry artists, some of whom are well-known, and some of whom have created atrocities that I really don’t want to look at, but I will because I’m dedicated; dedicated to giving you the very worst in furry horror. Or at least close to it. Kind of.
Oh, and many of these pictures are not safe for work.
Jesus Christ. First, Richard Katellis needs to change his art style because all of his characters are the least sexy creatures I have ever seen. Second, his characters need to put some fucking clothes on. Third, they need to curb their libido. I admire Katellis’s attempt to make a straight smut comic with no pretensions, but, uh, he fucking failed. He fucking failed miserably. I may be a raging pervert, but after looking at page after page of penises and vaginas on badly drawn animals, my balls ascended back into my abdominal cavity. It’s a very unpleasant feeling by the way. There’s also the problem of the pink genitalia. Here’s a tip to all future furry artists: Don’t do this. Seeing an anthropomorphic animal with bright pink, hairless cock and balls is ugly as hell. It’s like seeing a guy who got a bad haircut and has a glaring bald patch on the back of his head.
Lord, why hast Thou forsaken me?
Didn’t I talk about her last article? No, wait, it’s someone different. It’s another “realism” artist who thinks that making their subjects look as close to a cat/wolf/deer/thing as possible makes up for the static poses they stick their characters in. Whatever. Aside from some slight differences Palmer’s artwork is quite similar to Dark Natasha’s, so I’m not going to waste time on it.
Musclemen “R” Us
The first thing you will notice is that Chris Sawyer’s subjects all have the physique of a bodybuilder. The second thing you will notice is that they all penises that can be described as “larger than average”. Now, I really don’t care if Chris Sawyer likes cocks, large cocks, men who have muscular builds or men who have both muscular builds and large cocks. The problem is that all of his artwork consists of the same shit: Big muscular deer/horse/reptile/whatever with an erect cock as long as my arm flexing their muscles or posing or fucking another big-dicked muscleman in the ass. He has the occasional female but they are lost among the sea of flexing men with the long moneymakers. Oh, and the biceps look like tiny mountains.
What’s with the garter belt?
Sonic the Hedgehog rape
Who is Tojyo? Tojyo is a Japanese artist whose specialty is drawing porn of Sonic the Hedgehog characters. Everybody loved the guy’s artwork…until it started appearing on other websites with his name edited out. So he did what any furry artist would do…he pitched a fit and pulled his artwork off the Internet before shutting down his site. Nowadays he runs a much smaller site with a URL no one will give out. His name is frequently invoked when speaking against the art theft that’s, um, so prevalent in the fandom. Or so the furries would have you believe. It’s a great loss, I think. Actually I think he’s just another whiny jack-off who can’t stand to not have his so-called “art” attributed to him. Good riddance.
By now almost everyone in the fandom has heard of or read Jay Naylor’s Better Days comic, which is the story of one young man fucking his sister. Okay, maybe not, but that’s all the comic is going to be remembered for when it ends. Naylor’s story-telling abilities are lax at best and crappy at worst. I’m not going to get into his comic, but I will get into his artwork which, frankly, isn’t very good. They’re all a variation of some doe-eyed, cutesy character you might see on some sub-par anime. He also draws a very limited number of species, mainly canines and felines. It’s not surprising since his artistic style isn’t diverse enough to include animals that aren’t associated with big-eyed cuteness, i.e. horses. Most of his pin-ups include vaguely feline characters shooting sultry, lustful glances at each other or the viewer with those damned doe eyes, which really doesn’t turn me on in the least.
When he’s not using his comic as a launching point for his political views, Jay is busy being a butthole. Mat Sherer, the creator of Badly Drawn Kitties, said this about Naylor:
Jay's thinking is that he is always right. I've had many a discussion with him, and have determined two things. One, he believes that he cannot be wrong about anything. Anyone who doesn't share his opinions only does so because they aren't as educated as he is. If they would take the time to study and research the issues as carefully as he has (via conservative-leaning news outlets, of course), they would come to realize that he is absolutely right. The second thing I determined is that he has no sense of tact, or regard for anyone else's feelings. He doesn't care if he's insulting you to your face, as long as he's making you realize that he's right. So his problem isn't that I'm more open-minded, it's that I have continually proven myself incapable of intelligent thought by refusing to bow to his opinions, and he's become tired of trying to educate the unwilling to learn.
So then, Naylor is an average artist with a crappy comic who is also an egotistical fuckwit. That sentence pretty much describes 95% of the fandom right there.
Vary this picture somewhat and you’ll have the rest of Jay’s art
Eric W. Schwartz
Eric Schwartz is one of the most well-known bearded fatties in the fandom; he’s a man who just loves to emulate the WB style of drawing and who also has a fetish for the Amiga. Schwartz is also famous for creating Sabrina Online, a comic about a tiger-striped skunk who runs a porno studio. Wait, that’s Zig Zag. Actually I don’t know what the comic is about, since it lost any purpose a long time ago. Anyway, Eric is quite good at the WB art style…if you like seeing WB characters get banged. Me, I’m not so hot on it. “So Eric masturbates to Minerva Mink, so what?” you might ask. That’s not the problem – the problem is that he was pretty anal about having porn of his characters distributed, going so far as to lay out guidelines as to whether or not you could draw porn of his characters, as well as who the characters could bone. I say “was” because that’s changed with his new Fur after Dark website, where you can pay to see his characters in orgies. How low the mighty have fallen, eh?
Have you seen his porn? I have, and it’s not pretty. If you find yourself turned on by penis pudding, then brother, you need to see Eric’s pr0n. Never in my life have I seen so much semen drawn in such explicit, loving detail, detail that would make a hardcore Japanese hentai artist raise his eyebrows. One has to admire his vile yet fascinating way of flinging baby batter so flippantly in his drawings. One also has to wonder if Schwartz understands that the male does not shoot out gallons of semen like an uncontrolled fire hose.
And tentacle rape! Dear lord, there is a lot of tentacle rape. Well, I suppose it should be called tentacle sex because it’s, um, consensual, but, uh, please. All I know is that if I had dozens of ropey limbs shoved into my anus and mouth, I wouldn’t be very comfortable. Maybe it’s just me.
Schwartz has denied that he is TDK, even though they share the same art style and use the same computers. Schwartz is TDK. Period. If I say it, then it must be right.
In summation, Schwartz is another overrated prick.