That one guy on the bus who answered every question with a perfect script

I was riding the 42 bus through downtown Portland last Thursday when this guy next to me starts chatting about the weather. Every single thing I said, he replied with this whole structured paragraph that sounded like it came from a manual. When I asked where he grew up, he gave me a three sentence bio that ended with 'and that shapes my worldview today.' Has anyone else run into someone who talks like they're reading from a prewritten list?

3 comments

3 Comments

bailey.jennifer5d ago

At least he had a script. I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast, let alone prep a three-sentence bio for a stranger on the bus. Pretty sure I'd just mumble something about tacos and zone out.

colethomas6d ago

Portland, huh? I've seen this exact thing on the MAX line a few times. Did you catch if he paused before answering, like he was pulling the right card from a mental file? That's the tell with these types. There's a guy at my bus stop who does the same thing, but he always has a tiny delay before he speaks, like his brain is buffering. It makes me wonder if he's on the spectrum or if he's been trained to talk that way for some customer service job he can't shake. Was he looking you in the eye the whole time or staring at a fixed point while he recited his lines?

the_miles6d ago

Three seconds of pause before answering isn't a conspiracy it's just someone who thinks before they talk. People get way too worked up over how strangers communicate on a bus. Half the time it's just social anxiety or a scripted customer service reflex, not some deep personality mystery.