Stop saying 'we're fine' when you're not, it just delays the whole thing

My ex and I did the 'we're fine' dance for about 18 months after the first real fight. I kept telling my sister we were working through it, but we never actually talked about who was doing what around the house or who was paying for what. Then last June I found out she'd been hiding a credit card with $4,200 on it, and suddenly 'fine' turned into a screaming match in the parking lot of a Target in Phoenix. I'm not saying you need to air every dirty sock, but if you can't name one specific issue you're both working on, you're just waiting for the bomb to go off. Has anyone else had the 'we're okay' talk blow up way later than it should have?