Put $4,000 into a stairlift for my mom and now she won't use it

I got a used Bruno stairlift installed for my mom last year after she fell in her living room in Columbus. Cost me $4,000 total with installation, and she says it makes her feel like a burden to ride it. Has anyone else dealt with a parent refusing to use the gear you bought to keep them safe?

3 comments

3 Comments

kellygrant2d agoMost Upvoted

Oh man, I can totally relate to this. My dad spent good money on one of those lift chairs for me after my knee surgery and I swear it sat in the corner for three months because I felt like a lazy bum every time I used it. Like, here I am being wheeled up the stairs while my mom is out shoveling snow, you know? It's that weird guilt thing where they don't want to seem fragile or like they need help. Maybe try framing it as something that makes your life easier too, like "Mom, when you use the stairlift it saves me from worrying and having to check on you every five minutes." It might help her see it as a favor to you instead of a burden on herself.

carter.mila2d ago

Eventually just told my grandmother that sitting in her chair and letting my uncle do the dishes was her job now. She needed to let herself be helped because it made him feel useful. Worked way better than any speech about safety or dignity ever did. Sometimes you gotta flip the script and make accepting help the helping thing to do.

spencer_gonzalez12d ago

You paid four grand for a stairlift she didn't ask for and now you're mad she won't ride it. She probably feels like you made the decision for her, and using it is just admitting she's too old to handle her own stairs. Maybe she's holding out because she thinks that's the only way to keep a shred of control in her own house.