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Started a gratitude journal after my divorce and it backfired hard
My therapist suggested I write down three things I'm grateful for each night before bed. I tried it for about 2 weeks and ended up feeling worse because I kept forcing myself to be thankful for stuff like 'the dishwasher still works' when I was really just sad and angry. I realized I was just slapping a bandaid on my grief instead of letting myself feel it. Has anyone else found that positivity exercises made things worse before they got better?
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stella_scott962mo ago
Did you try swapping out the gratitude list for just writing down whatever you're actually feeling? I did the same thing after my divorce and had to stop because I was just lying to myself. Once I started letting myself write the ugly stuff first, the gratitude stuff came naturally later.
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jessica9212mo ago
Take a step back for a second. Is it really that serious that a gratitude journal didn't work for you right after a divorce? Your mileage may vary, but I've tried a bunch of positivity stuff and half of it just feels like a chore that doesn't stick. Maybe just give yourself a break and don't put so much pressure on it working perfectly.
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murray.robert2mo ago
Read an article a while back about how gratitude journaling can backfire if you're forcing it during a tough time. Something about it making people feel worse because they're basically invalidating their own pain. Makes sense to me. If you're in the middle of something hard like a divorce, pretending everything's fine just feels like adding insult to injury. Better to sit with the bad stuff for a bit before trying to force a positive spin. Sometimes the best you can do is just get through the day without adding a chore on top of it.
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