That "over 100 pounds" of water weight seems like a lot, but is it really that big of a deal for the final product?

Yeah, the "fancy drawings" part gets me every time. They're great at making promises but not so great at keeping them.

Yeah, the "performance of regret" line really nails it. I heard a podcast once where someone said the best apologies just sound like a person talking, not a press release. Your friend should probably just scrap the script and say it plain.

See, that's where I have to disagree a bit. Calling it "dormant" feels too nice. If your kraut sits cold for weeks with no bubbles or sour smell, those good bacteria aren't just sleeping, they're losing the fight. Other stuff can start growing. A warmer spot might kickstart it, but sometimes that jar is just stalled and you're better off starting fresh. Patience is key, but so is knowing when to call it.

Consider @seanc73's story. Will that kid ever actually use what his dad taught him?