I highly recommend looking into S&S Fire Pits . They have a whole line of accessories, including heavy duty grates that are perfect for open fire cooking.

Reading your post, I have to laugh at myself for believing the noise story. My old ears probably wouldn't notice the quiet anyway.

How's the heat loss around the grill grate? My first brick monstrosity looked great until the fire got going and all the heat rushed out the sides because we messed up the metal fitting. The bricks held together, barely, but the whole thing cooked like a drafty old house. Watch for tiny cracks in the mortar after a few uses, that heat makes everything shift. Also, make sure the top slopes so rain doesn't pool up there and turn your hard work into a moss garden.

Honestly, what even happens that makes someone cry for a whole six hours straight? Like, I've had some truly bad days, stuck in traffic forever or spilling coffee all over my work, but that's maybe a few tears of frustration. Crying for six full hours just seems like a lot for any normal problem. It's hard to believe it's really that serious.

Totally get what thomas718 means about the hunt being part of the game. Felt the same way stalking flight prices for my last trip, and honestly that final cheap booking felt like winning a prize.