Guess the pet names are just the warm up act before they decide you can't handle a real question without getting the vapors. Had a guy once walk me through what a login screen was, then act like I insulted his mother when I asked how their data export worked. The slow talking is the tell every time. If someone starts explaining the basics in that patient kindergarten voice, they've already decided you're not worth a straight answer, and that's when you know to run. Buying from the other guy was probably the cheapest demo you'll ever sit through.

And it's not just the pet names either. It's the whole vibe where they decide you're too dumb to follow along, so they skip the parts that matter and talk really slow about the parts that don't. I had one guy spend ten minutes explaining what a dashboard was, then get weird and short with me when I asked about API limits. Like, buddy, you just told me nothing and now you're mad I know enough to ask a real question. That sweetheart stuff is the same move, it's a way of putting you in a box before you even open your mouth. You buying from the other guy was the right call, that's the only feedback these people actually feel.